The "Cops: In Springfield" Theme 9F09 - 17th December 1992 Bad cops, bad cops Bad cops, bad cops Springfield cops are on the take What what do you expect for the money we make? Whether in a car or on a horse We don't mind using excessive force Bad cops, bad cops Bad cops, bad cops « Homer's Opening Song 9F10 - 14th January 1993 Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history From the...town of Springfield He's about to hit a chestnut tree « The Monorail Song 9F10 - 14th January 1993 [Lyle Lanley]   Well sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine, bonafide, electrified, six-car monorail! What'd I say? [Ned Flanders]   Monorail! [Lyle]   What's it called? [Patty & Selma]   Monorail [Lyle]   That's right, monorail! [All chant] Monorail, monorail, monorail... [Ms Hoover]   I hear those things are awfully loud [Lyle]   It glides as softly as a cloud [Apu]   Is there a chance the track could bend? [Lyle]   Not on your life, my Hindu friend [Barney]   What about us braindead slobs? [Lyle]   You'll be given cushy jobs [Grampa]   Were you sent here by the devil? [Lyle]   No, good sir, I'm on the level [Chief Wiggum]   The ring came off my pudding can [Lyle]   Take my pen knife, my good man I swear it's Springfield's only choice Throw up your hands and raise your voice! Monorail! What's it called? Monorail! Once again! Monorail! [Marge]   But Main Street's still all cracked and broken [Bart]   Sorry, mom, the mob has spoken [All]   Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! [Homer]   Mono- d'oh! « Flanders' Valentine Song 9F13 - 11th February 1993 If you think I'm cuddly And you want my company Come on, wifey, let me know Whoo, woo, woo-wooooo « We Are the Mediocre Presidents 9F13 - 11th February 1993 We are the mediocre presidents You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore and there's Hayes! There's William Henry Harrison - "I died in thirty days!" We are the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable Caretaker presidents of the U.S.A! « It Was a Very Good Beer 9F14 - 18th February 1993 When I was 17, I drank some very good beer I drank some very good beer, I purchased, with a fake ID My name was Brian McGee, I stayed up listening to Queen When I was 17 « Lisa's Protest Song 9F15 - 11th March 1993 Come gather 'round children It's high time ye learns About a hero named Homer And a devil named Burns We'll march 'til we drop The girls and the fellas We'll fight 'til the death Or else fold like umbrellas So, we'll march day and night By the big cooling tower They have the plant, but we have the power « Burns' Song of Lament 9F15 - 11th March 1993 Look at them all, through the darkness I'm bringing They're not sad at all, they're actually singing! They sing without juicers They sing without blenders They sing without flunjers, capdabblers and smendlers! « The Adventures of Ned Flanders Theme Song 9F16 - 15th March 1993 Hens love roosters, geese love ganders Everyone else loves Ned Flanders! [Homer] Not me! Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders! « Oh Whacking Day 9F18 - 4th April 1993 Oh Whacking Day Oh Whacking Day Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day We'll break their backs Gouge out their eyes Their evil hearts, we'll pulverize Oh Whacking Day Oh Whacking Day May God bestow His grace on thee « Send in the Clowns 9F19 - 13th May 1993 Send in the clowns Those daffy-laffy clowns Send in those soulful and doleful schmotes by the bowlful clowns Send in the clowns [Sideshow Mel] They're already here « Baby on Board 9F21 - 30th September 1993 Baby on board How I've adored That sign on my car's windowpane Bounce in my step Loaded with pep 'Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane Call me a square Friend, I don't care That little yellow sign can't be ignored I'm tellin' you it's mighty nice Each trip's a trip to paradise With my baby on board! « Springfield, Springfield 1F06 - 18th November 1993 Springfield, Springfield! It's a hell of a town! The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down! The stray dogs go to the animal pound! Springfield, Springfield! Springfield, Springfield! [Sailor] New York, New York! New York is that-a-way, man [Sailor] Thanks, kid It's a hell of a town! « Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? 1F10 - 10th February 1993 [Apu]   Whether igloo, hut or lean-to Or a geodesic dome There's no structure I have been to Which I'd rather call my home... When I first arrived, you were all such jerks But now I've come to love your quirks Maggie with her eyes so bright Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright Lisa can philosophize Bart's adept at spinning lies Homer's a delightful fella Sorry 'bout the salmonella [Homer]   Hehe, that's okay [Apu]   Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part Oh, won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? [Marge]   Their floors are sticky-mart! [Lisa]   They made Dad sicky-mart! [Bart]   Let's hurl a bricky-mart! [Homer]   That Kwik-E-Mart is real - d'oh! [Apu]   Who needs the Kwik-E-mart? Not me! Forget the Kwik-E-mart Goodbye to Kwik-E-mart Who needs the Kwik-E-mart? Not me! « The Lobby 1F16 - 14th April 1994 Let's all go to the lobby! Let's all go to the lobby! Let's all go to the lobby Get ourselves some snacks! « Cool 1F21 - 12th May 1994 [Homer]   Now what you gotta do If you wanna get a kiss Is act real smooth And make your move like this <Yawns and puts arm around Grampa> [Grampa]   Oh, I see. So if I take your advice And make your patented move Then my chances for love Will slightly improve <Grampa practices> [Homer]   Hee, hee, hee Now what's that rule? [Grampa]   Play it cool! « Homer's Under the Sea Song 2F06 - 27th November 1994 Under the sea Under the sea There'll be no accusations Just friendly crustaceans Under the sea! «

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